Scattered Musings Of A Restless Mind

originally published in 2008

Any fellow insomnia sufferer will tell you what keeps them awake is not being able to turn off your thoughts. Just for kicks, I'm recording here my "Scattered Musings Of A Restless Mind" with hope it will help me sleep.


OK, it's 4:33 am and this my umpteenth night of zero sleep. I seriously didn't realize the human body could live without sleeping. But surprisingly you can function fairly normal, except for the mild headache. Someone told me Einstein only slept 20 minutes at a time. Well, at least when HIS thoughts were running around in his head, he was actually accomplishing something. My thoughts just ramble around with no discernible direction and when someone calls me a "genius", it's not a compliment.

Sometimes, if I have to get up really early, I will stay awake on purpose. It's just easier for me that way. The Meneires disease and all makes getting out of bed difficult. Maybe I'm avoiding sleep because I know it leads to dizzy mornings. Nah...If my mind were that good at governing my behavior by connecting cause and effect, I wouldn't eat another donut!

I can't believe I'm actually proofreading this! Maybe, in some manner, by correcting mistakes I have the power to correct; this will give me a sense of satisfaction and peace so I can sleep. Just call me Anita Sigmund Wilson.

Perhaps I can sleep if I count backwards:
10,
9,
8 Oh I ate so much when I was off work on disability that I gained over 20 pounds. I'm certainly frustrated by that. And just when I start to get out and exercise, I break my toe. So now I'm feeling very fat and quite afraid I won't shed these extra pounds and I'll keep gaining and become morbidly obese all over again. I thought I had this battle licked! I guess it all comes back around in moments of weakness. Physical weakness begets other weaknesses in the body. That's pretty deep. I'll have to ponder that some more, when I can keep a single thought in my head for longer than 1 sec
7
6 When I was a little girl I used to think " six" was a bad word. I had it confused with "sex". Of course "sex" isn't a bad word either, but when your in kindergarten it can make an entire classroom of kids laugh hysterically and then you get in trouble. I'm probably the only kindergarten kid in history who got in trouble by counting 1,2,3,4,5,sex... Honest Mrs. Householder, I didn't do it on purpose!!!
5
4 40- Loretta turns 40 this year, which of course means me the older sister is gonna be 42. I hope she enjoys the birthday celebrations we are putting together for her. She needs some fun and some spoiling. She's about the best person in the whole wide world!!! My dear friend Becky turns 40 this year too! I wonder if they'll need reading glasses like I did. I turned 40 one day and needed glasses the next.
3
2 I have 2 cars now that need to be fixed. I just found out tonight my Camaro needs a thermostat replaced. No big deal. It's an easy fix. But so annoying to constantly be fixing cars. The pros to used cars bought with cash I think still out weigh the cons. But now I wonder if a car payment wouldn't be easier...
1
0 Zero sleep, zero rest, zero patience, zero dreams ZERO

Maybe if I start back from 100
100
99
98 bottles of beer on the wall. 98 bottles of beer. Take one down pass it around
97 bottles of beer. Only I don't like beer. When I was a kid, I actually used to sing ...
...96 bottles of pop on the wall. How did they get it on the wall anyway? The song makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

And neither does this blog entry...