I sat on the edge of the pool with my 9-year old feet over the edge my toes barely touching the water and I was praying. I wasn’t praying for a new toy, or shiny bauble, or family problems, or good test grades, oh no, my prayer was for something easy. It was easy because God had done it before. I quite simply wanted to walk on water. I had heard about the story of Peter doing it in Sunday School. So I figured if God could do it for Peter of course God to do that for me. Right then and right there.
That is what I understood about prayer at 9 years old. First, you ask God for anything and he would grant your request. Second, God would only do this if you had enough faith that he was able. You had to do your part and believe. So I sat on the side of that pool. I summoned up all the faith I could manage like I was pulling it from all the cells of my body into one central point and offering it up to God like a sacrifice. I stood up on the edge of the pool. I took that first step, completely expecting to walk across to the other side. And…. Well you already know what happened!
For me, that was the first time that my faith wavered in prayer and I discovered doubt as a child. As I sank beneath the waters of the pool, I was truly shocked! After all, I asked; I should have been given at least a few steps . I sought; I should have found. I knocked; God should have opened the door. My child faith was cracked that day and since then that tiny crack grew wider as I became frustrated over unanswered prayers.
As I matured in earth years and in spiritual years my faith also matured and I learned more about prayer. I learned that asking, seeking, and knocking still must be within the will of God to which I must humbly submit and trust. I learned that God isn’t a magic-wish-granting genie who pulls little pool-side miracles out upon your asking. I learned that you cannot summon faith it has to be grown, and nurtured over time. I learned that my God is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent and he DOES hear and answer all of our prayers, who says his answer has to be “yes”, or “ exactly as you want it.”
I have also learned that I have more to learn about prayer.
