Healthy Thinking
Ever since Norman Vincent Peale wrote The Power Of P
ositive Thinking most of society began to understand more about the power of our thoughts to affect not just our emotional state and health but also our success, realization of goals and who knows, maybe even world peace. Thanks to Mr. Peale, other authors and science we know for certain that HOW we think really does matter. After all our emotions, health, success, goals…and world peace are important things. For myself “positive thinking” sounds so cliche and so 1990’s. Instead I’ve been working on “Healthy Thinking”.
The difference is that trying to think positively or find a morsel of the positive to think about when the law of nature is that life is going to beat you up, a lot, is unrealistic. It is normal and healthy to have negative thoughts, to feel sad, angry, frustrated and helpless when the circumstances are there to cause those feelings and thoughts. However, you can develop some habits of Healthy Thinking that gives you some balance in your life. Healthy Thinking means that you can look at the whole situation –positive, negative, neutral — and come to a conclusion that makes sense rather than cause greater anxiety. It allows you to look at your life in a balanced way.
To develop Healthy Thinking is a three pronged approach. First, address your self-image. Second, develop a greater sense of gratitude. Third, decrease anxiety by recognizing “thinking traps” and tools to deal with them.
This little blog post could turn into a book so I’ll just let you know the habits I incorporate for myself and perhaps give you some things to ponder for yourself.
Self Image
What are 3 things that you love about yourself? If you can think of more than 3 then awesome! If you think of more than 10, Self Image probably isn’t an issue for you. If you are having a hard time thinking of 3 make it simple, perhaps the color of your hair or your smile. Those 3 things are your affirmations. Every morning, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself 3 times I love you because _________. and fill in the blank with an affirmation.
The next thing is to start to recognize if you treat yourself as well as you treat other people. How many offenses have others done that you think nothing of but you will mentally beat yourself up over the very same thing? How harshly do you judge yourself versus how you judge others? When you find yourself in self-flagellation mode because you forgot to send that Thank You note ask yourself if your friend or relative forgot to send you one, would you forgive them. Then for heaven sake, forgive yourself.
Gratitude
I used to just think having an “attitude of gratitude” was making sure when I prayed and journal-ed I listed the things I was thankful for. Then I started to realize that it really had to do more with balance (as usual in my life). If there were a scale and on one side were all the things I were grateful for and on the other side were all the things I were frustrated with, complained about, etc. which side of the scale would tip heavier. That’s when I realized that I needed to balance that scale. So I’ve been working on that. Otherwise, my thoughts are not on gratitude, my thoughts are on the things on the other side of that scale. That’s not Healthy Thinking at all.
Anxiety
One of the largest causes of anxiety are what therapists call thinking traps. My 2 biggest thinking traps are: 1. LABELING – Thinking or saying negative things about myself that I would not say or think about others. The habit of daily affirmations really help with this one. So does not isolating myself. Being around my friends and family. They affirm me just with a smile and hug sometimes. 2. SHOULD STATEMENT – Telling yourself how you should or must act. I should be able to xxxxxxx. It’s an expectation that I put on myself, usually unrealistic but also, just as insidious, untimely. So when I’m thinking this way, I ask myself why should I be doing that? I’m still working on this one too.
A chronic illness can zap you from every angle and striving after Healthy Thinking is one of the best medicines in my medicine cabinet. The Bible says we can take our thoughts captive. It also says that through Christ we have the power to renew our minds. That is powerful, healing, and can bring world peace.
The difference is that trying to think positively or find a morsel of the positive to think about when the law of nature is that life is going to beat you up, a lot, is unrealistic. It is normal and healthy to have negative thoughts, to feel sad, angry, frustrated and helpless when the circumstances are there to cause those feelings and thoughts. However, you can develop some habits of Healthy Thinking that gives you some balance in your life. Healthy Thinking means that you can look at the whole situation –positive, negative, neutral — and come to a conclusion that makes sense rather than cause greater anxiety. It allows you to look at your life in a balanced way.
To develop Healthy Thinking is a three pronged approach. First, address your self-image. Second, develop a greater sense of gratitude. Third, decrease anxiety by recognizing “thinking traps” and tools to deal with them.
This little blog post could turn into a book so I’ll just let you know the habits I incorporate for myself and perhaps give you some things to ponder for yourself.
Self Image
What are 3 things that you love about yourself? If you can think of more than 3 then awesome! If you think of more than 10, Self Image probably isn’t an issue for you. If you are having a hard time thinking of 3 make it simple, perhaps the color of your hair or your smile. Those 3 things are your affirmations. Every morning, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself 3 times I love you because _________. and fill in the blank with an affirmation.
The next thing is to start to recognize if you treat yourself as well as you treat other people. How many offenses have others done that you think nothing of but you will mentally beat yourself up over the very same thing? How harshly do you judge yourself versus how you judge others? When you find yourself in self-flagellation mode because you forgot to send that Thank You note ask yourself if your friend or relative forgot to send you one, would you forgive them. Then for heaven sake, forgive yourself.
Gratitude
I used to just think having an “attitude of gratitude” was making sure when I prayed and journal-ed I listed the things I was thankful for. Then I started to realize that it really had to do more with balance (as usual in my life). If there were a scale and on one side were all the things I were grateful for and on the other side were all the things I were frustrated with, complained about, etc. which side of the scale would tip heavier. That’s when I realized that I needed to balance that scale. So I’ve been working on that. Otherwise, my thoughts are not on gratitude, my thoughts are on the things on the other side of that scale. That’s not Healthy Thinking at all.
Anxiety
One of the largest causes of anxiety are what therapists call thinking traps. My 2 biggest thinking traps are: 1. LABELING – Thinking or saying negative things about myself that I would not say or think about others. The habit of daily affirmations really help with this one. So does not isolating myself. Being around my friends and family. They affirm me just with a smile and hug sometimes. 2. SHOULD STATEMENT – Telling yourself how you should or must act. I should be able to xxxxxxx. It’s an expectation that I put on myself, usually unrealistic but also, just as insidious, untimely. So when I’m thinking this way, I ask myself why should I be doing that? I’m still working on this one too.
A chronic illness can zap you from every angle and striving after Healthy Thinking is one of the best medicines in my medicine cabinet. The Bible says we can take our thoughts captive. It also says that through Christ we have the power to renew our minds. That is powerful, healing, and can bring world peace.
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